Just One More Minute Never Is Enough
by Mykerinos
Summary: FINISHED. Severus and Hermione are enjoying each others company. But Severus doesn't think it can last forever. On the contrary...A HGSS story. Final chapter up. They finally realise that the darkness and moon are made for each other...
1. They split up

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from the Harry Potter books. Honest, would I place this story online if I would?

_Warning #1: I wrote this under the influence of fluffy romance songs…   
Warning #2: This is my first HG/SS story. I've read a lot, anyhow.  
Warning #3: This isn't beta-read._

_Do you still want to read it? Go on then, and don't forget to leave a review. _

**'Just one more minute' never is enough**

I leaned against a heavy pillar, and looked out of the window in front of me. It was becoming dark already. Rain silently fell down on the earth, and declivities led the water to lower points where now little puddles emerged. 

The temperature in the tower was very low, partly due to  the weather, but also because of the great height. There was only one source of light, hanging above the window.

I startled when I heard footsteps from behind and stood up to see him coming in. He slowly walked to me, his face unreadable as ever when my arms slipped around his neck. 

"I'm glad you came," I whispered before he covered my mouth with a kiss. My worries disappeared with that, and I happily recalled our first kiss. That had been at the time that Voldemort had been defeated, and good times replaced the bad ones. 

He put his arms around me, and I let my head rest on his chest. My nostrils were filled with the scent of herbs, and I closed my eyes.

"How could I have not.." he responded into my hair. That's how we stood there a few more moments. I felt beloved, like I had never felt before. For the first time somebody dared to love me, and dared to show that. I had this feeling that it would last forever. Or was it more a wish?

We sat down in front of the window, and stared out of it.

"Odd," I said, a bit hoarse. "It's raining, but there is no single cloud in sight."

I looked up to look him in the eyes, to drown in that calm, black see, and forget everything again. But instead of the calmness, it was despair I saw, and it pained me to also see guilt in his eyes. 

I knew he was feeling guilty for loving a child, and I knew it was all my fault. If only I was some older…

"I'm sorry," I wanted to say, but there was a limb in my throat that made it impossible. At this, he took my head in his hands, and caressed my cheek with his thumb. There was another moment of silence, but then he spoke. 

"You _do_ know this—" He paused, sighed, and then let his forehead rest on mine. I hoped he would just shut his mouth, and continued holding me. 

"We can't continue this anymore, Hermione." he then stated. The way he did was resolute, almost cruel. It felt like a stab in my chest, and I felt my eyes burn. I wanted to protest, tell him we could, but he gently brought his finger to my lips to prevent me from speaking. 

"You are my student, and the risk is just too big.. This is a secret too hard too keep. And if somebody finds out…" He looked away from me, searching for words, but when he turned his face to me again, there was a chilling determination in his eyes. "This will be the last time we meet." 

His voice was stern, and I knew I couldn't change his mind anymore. There was an awful silence.

"If this is the last time," I said, determined to not let go that easy. "Then please let these last moments with you be the happiest moments of my life. Just sit here with me, okay?"

It was desperate and crazy, I knew, but maybe I was able to convince him. He looked at me pitifully, but then nodded. 

I buried myself in his embrace, forcing my tears back. He stroke my hair, and in spite of my sorrow I felt a bit happier. But after some minutes, he woke me up from my dream. 

"We'd better go now," he said in a low voice, and moved to stand up. I pulled him back, and looked at him with begging eyes. 

"Please," I said, not being able to suppress a sob. "One more minute." 

He stared at me, but this time there was no pity. He let out a sigh of irritation, but I knew that, deep down, he was glad. 

"Alright," he decided after considering it for a second. "Just one." 

And so we sat again. I couldn't help but counting the seconds, and after passing the 60, I feared by every second that he would rise on his feet again, and leave. Forever.

It was exactly 4 minutes and 19 seconds when he did that. I startled, and stood up too. I knew I'd do everything to be with him some longer.

"I trust you'll keep our relationship secret," he said, and I felt like he was looking through me. "It's no use telling anyone, as it is already in the past. Good night, Miss Granger."

_Miss Granger._ I felt my heart ache. It really was over, I realised. But it couldn't be. I shook my head. 

"I won't forget you, Severus. And I know you won't forget me either." I was hoping for a confirmation, but all he did was turning around, and starting to walk away.

"Call me Professor again, from now on."

My head started to ache now too, and my stomach felt empty. Too empty. 

*~*~* 

I couldn't sleep that night. I couldn't cry. I could only remember his words. "It's already in the past." That cold way he always stated things was one thing I'd admired in him. He could hide his emotions without any effort, even to me. I had never doubted his love though. Had it all been for nothing?

Next day there was no potions on my schedule and because I had overslept, and had missed breakfast, I hadn't seen him yet.

The lesson went quite good for someone who had just broken up. Nobody seemed to notice something was wrong with me, and that I was trying to pay even more attention to the lesson that usual. 

After class, I threw myself on a heavy book about "Muggle Libraries". It was one of the few books I hadn't read yet, and I hoped it wouldn't contain anything that could be related to Potions. It didn't. But there were enough other things I related to Severus, I figured. Take the title. Hadn't it been in the library where I found out I was in love with him? And the introduction. "I have written this book to teach you more about the delicate wonders called Muggle Libraries. Not many wizards will understand the use of this phenomenon." Now how much did that resemble to the speech Severus had given to the first years? And what about the illustration of that bookcase? I was sure I could see a book about the Dark Arts there, and everybody knew Severus wanted the Defend Against the Dark Arts job. 

I closed the book shut. This was madness. I put the book away, and rose on my feet. 

"Where are you going, Herm?" Ginny asked. I knew she was worried about me. Thought I was acting strange, she told me lately. I did an attempt to smile. If only she knew…

"I'm just a bit tired," I said, and it was true. 

"Tired?" Ginny's eyes grew big in disbelief. "Hermione, last night you went to bed at 8, and now it's even before dinner. How can you be tired??"

I sighed. Why was she making trouble? "I figured out  last night that I still had some homework to do, so I studied again… All night." 

This seemed to work. Ginny let out a small "Oh." and then returned to her homework. I felt relieved, and quickly turned to walk out of the common room. I bumped into Ron. He looked a bit different, somehow. 

"Hey, Hermione!" he exclaimed. He seemed a bit shocked to see me. 

"Hi Ron." I responded with a smile, and wanted to walk away, but Ron stopped me. He reddened a bit. 

"Erm.. How are you?" he asked shyly. I was surprised by the stupidity of the question. 

"Good, I guess. A bit tired." I added quickly as I remembered my 'role'. "And you?" 

"I'm fine, thanks. Hey.. Would you like to do something, tonight? I don't know _what_, exactly, maybe wizard chess, or perhaps hang around the lake.. Study together, if you like." 

I was amazed. Was this Ron Weasley who was trying to, well, ask me out? 

"Er—" I hesitated. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but it would be unfair to say yes. Besides, I had just told Ginny I was tired. "Tonight isn't a very good time.. I'm pretty tired, as I said, and I'd like to have an early night myself now. Some other time, okay?" 

Ron nodded. "Okay. Tell me when you do have time." 

I finally left the room, but didn't head to the dormitory of course. I went to the dungeons, and when I arrived, I carefully pushed open the heavy door of the classroom. As I walked in, I saw him standing beside a cauldron, carefully adding a new ingredient. He hadn't noticed me yet, and I wondered what to do without startling him. It was unnecessary. 

"Miss Granger," he said coolly without looking up from the potion. "May I ask why you're here, interrupting my concentration?" 

I considered his question for a moment, and felt tears prickle in my eyes. 

"I needed to see you, Severus." I said truthfully. My voice was higher than usual, and I inwardly cursed myself. 

"First, call me Professor," he said icily. "And second, I don't find your reason a good one. Five points-" 

"Stop treating me like one of your students!" I cut off his sentence. 

"You _are_ one of my students, and nothing more, so why should I?" he sneered, stirring in his potion.

"You know it." I gasped. "Severus, I can't just put you aside! It's unreasonable to ask me that!" 

He now turned his face to me, and with one look I could tell what the emotion in his eyes was—Hatred. 

"We _can_ do this reasonable, _Miss Granger_." 

The darkness in his voice when he said my name, frightened me. There was no sign of the man I had been with last night. 

"We can _now_ go to the Headmaster, and tell him everything about what we had, and what you still think to have. Then, he'll ban you, and fire me. Does  that seem reasonable enough to you, _Miss Granger_? Does it?" 

That disgust again. I was so shocked by his tone, that I couldn't respond. I searched his eyes for any good emotion, but couldn't find any, not even pity or disappointment. Only irritation and hatred, deep hatred. I suddenly became aware of the tears that were streaming over my cheeks. 

"How can you be so cruel?" I sobbed. He gave an exasperated noise, and turned back to his cauldron again. 

"You'd be well-advised to leave, before I start taking points." 

I stood there, motionless, and desperately trying to understand. 

"Go!" he hissed. I gave him one more look, and then started to run away, sobbing uncontrollably. Fortunately I bumped into nobody as I ran to the dormitory. Nobody was there either. Everybody probably was having dinner. I let myself fall on my bed and tried to find an explanation. It was such a cruel day. No, I corrected myself after thinking some more about it, it was Severus who was to blame. Anger welled up inside me. I had to tell someone. Anyone. I needed someone to confirm my thoughts. I grabbed my diary, that I hadn't been using for years, and a quill, and started to write. 

"He isn't worth it, Hermione. You've now seen his true nature, and it's time to move on. Be glad things didn't work out between you two. His good sides, the good moments..- There'll be more of them. The bad ones—forget them. You've been through worse. He was, what—twice your age?" 

But it still hurts… I swallowed. I read through what I had written, and felt a little bit better. I had to find distraction. 

I heard some noise, and a few seconds later Ginny, Parvati and some other girls came into the dormitory. I quickly dried my tears, and put the parchment away. 

"Hey," Ginny said. "You're still up?" 

I smiled to her. "Oh well," I coughed to get rid of my hoarse voice. "I wasn't as tired as I thought I was."

"You've missed this wonderful dinner!" Parvati exclaimed. "It really was delicious, wasn't it, Ginny?" 

"I think the house-elves will be willing to give me some food," I smiled. 

I jumped off my bed, and walked to the common room. I saw Ron was working on his homework. I hesitated, but then carefully touched his shoulder. He startled. 

"Hullo," he said, his face turning red. 

"Hey," I said. "You don't have any plans for tonight, have you?" 

He grinned, and I gave a relieved sigh. Maybe things were just better the way they were now…

*~*~*

In his dungeons, Severus Snape was still stirring in his potion, his thoughts with the only one he had ever truly loved. The one he had just sent away. He looked at his watch, and saw he had missed dinner. Oh well, he had lost his appetite anyway. 

He realised his potion was becoming green instead of red, and quickly stopped stirring. Darn it, he thought. Now he had to add tealeaves to reverse that reaction again. He walked to his closet, and found he had run out of tealeaves. Sybill probably had some. He walked up the stairs to the Arithmancy tower, and incense filled his nostrils. Nobody was in the room. He had no time to wait, the potion would be useless if he didn't add leaves in a few minutes, so he searched for the leaves himself. And found them. He quickly wanted to leave, when something outside caught his eye. He walked to the window, and looked outside. Suddenly his head started to ache, and he searched for support against the wall. 

Hermione and that Weasley? Had she forgotten about him that easy? Hadn't he meant _anything_ to her? He looked at how the couple walked to the lake. Was she laughing? 

He shook his head. This was what he had wanted. He getting on with his life, and she with hers… But still, she was too good for Weasley. He grabbed for his head. Getting over this would take much time, he feared…

_A/N: I don't really know if I should continue this.. It was meant to be just a short story, so tell me what you think._


	2. They suffer

_Oh god! All of you wanted more! I feel so happy! How could I disappoint you? I can't stand begging eyes! Just like Severus in chapter one ^_^ I want you to know that all of your reviews are highly appreciated, and at least looked through 7 times, if not more. Really, I live for your reviews, all of them!_

_I must say again that I had never expected this to be reviewed so graciously… I thought it was all too dramatic… _

_Oh—just one more thing; I changed the title a bit.. It was supposed to be named "Just one more minute" instead of "moment". It's something that Rowling said about the mirror of Erised, if I'm correct. Or something similar. And I replaced the stuff Lis pointed me on._

_I have to get one more thing off my skin before letting you read the story… You have got no idea how much it pained me to not be able to give you another chapter right the other day. Really, I worked as hard as I could, and your reviews were a great support for me!_

**'Just one more minute' never is enough**

Spending time with Ron was much more relaxing than I had expected it to be. We hanged around a bit, and his jokes even made me forget my sorrow for a while. When we arrived at the lake, Ron suggested to sit down. I tried hard to fight back the memories of Severus and me sitting there.

"I'd rather walk, thanks." I said with a forced smile. "Besides, it's getting very cloudy. We'd better return to the castle." 

I was right. Before we could had turned around, big raindrops fell down. By the time we'd gotten to the castle, we were already soaking wet.

I had almost reached the door, when suddenly somebody gave me a powerful shove from behind. I swung my arms around in an attempt to regain my balance, and let out a small scream as the ground closed very fast…-- Beng. I tasted the mud, and quickly pulled myself up, trying to wipe the dirt out of my eyes and nose. I almost had to vomit as I swallowed some grit, and felt clotted pieces of filth slither down my leg.

My hair—My untameable hair that I this morning finally had managed to get it the way I wanted it—now was all bushy again. Angrily I turned around to see who had done this, and was not surprised at all to see Draco Malfoy standing against a tree, grinning. 

"Draco!" I exclaimed furiously. He had been on my skin for some weeks now. I suppose he somehow had began to suspicious something, although not enough to begin to imagine how things really were.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Granger," he said icily, rolling his eyes. "I didn't see you! Of course not because I couldn't see you ugly head of hair—I mean, even a blind man can see that—but I must have looked the other way."

I tried to calm myself down, but involuntarily my hands searched for my wand in my robes. Ron had his already pointed at the serpent-like boy. 

"Attacking a _girl_ from her _back_!" he said with a disgusted look. "How weak! Did you father teach you that, Malfoy?" 

Draco didn't respond, but his eyes rolled from me to Ron, and back. 

"So, you're dating a mudblood now, eh?" 

I saw Ron's face was expressing nothing than anger, and knew he was going to attack Draco—But I was faster. 

"_Obsidet Animum!_" I shouted, and a blue beam of light hit Draco. He took some steps backward, and had a very dazzled expression on his face. He regained balance, but the puzzled look stayed. He shook his head, and stared at his two hands. Then he hit with one hand his other, and muttered something. 

Ron laughed loudly. "Wow, Hermione, what did you do to him! I'm sure we didn't discuss that in class!"

I grinned also as Draco stumbled around a bit, his hands stretched out before him. 

"It's a confusion spell," I explained. "I read it in _'How to Attack Someone Properly'_. I had never used it bef—" 

"Miss Granger!" a familiar voice interrupted my sentence. I swallowed before turning around to see nobody else than Severus Snape standing in the doorway. Was it just my imagination, or did he truly wince as our eyes met?

Now that I looked at him better, I saw he seemed exhausted; His face was paler than ever, and I could see a vein just above his temple beat very fast. Too fast. I knew it—He was having one of his chronic headaches again. Normally he would've taken a potion, that would lighten the pain a little bit, and sit down somewhere, doing nothing. Standing out here in the rain was not going to help him.

I suddenly felt the urge to do something about it, I wanted to ease pain, help him relax. He was looking so intimidating, but I knew that at this very moment he was suffering awful pains, and couldn't bare much. I bent my head, and put my eyes down. 

"Thirty points from Gryffindor for hexing a student!" 

I felt my cheeks burn. Why did he, of all teachers, had to be the one to catch me on that. I'd even prefer a disappointed McGonagall above Severus, especially when he was in a state like this. Ron jumped up.

"But it was Malfoy's fault, sir! He first threw her—" 

"I don't care what he has done!" roared Severus. "There's not magic allowed on other students!" 

A tear fell down from my eye, directly on the ground. I wished Ron wouldn't argue anymore. He had no idea how much energy he was taking from the professor. Ron didn't stop, anyhow. 

"But that slimy git called her a mudblood!" he shouted indignantly. 

"Ten more points from Gryffindor for your language, Weasley!" barked Severus. Suddenly there was some maniacal laughter, and as I turned around, I saw Draco laying on his back on the ground, holding his feet with his hands, and rocking back and forth. 

"Get inside before I deduct more points." Severus said, and I could've sworn I heard him sigh tiredly. 

Pissed off Ron stepped passed Severus into the castle, but I actually didn't want to do the same. I looked up at him, my mouth noiselessly forming "You need help". 

I didn't know if he got the message, but he stretched out his finger, pointing at the door behind him. I immediately noticed how his arm was shaking. 

"I told you to get inside!!" he bellowed. I winced, but went in, not wanting to give him anymore trouble. In the Gryffindor common room, Ron had probably just told the story to the rest, because all of them groaned loudly, and started to shout things in a heap.

"Fourty points?!"  Fred exclaimed, throwing up his hands. "Come on!"

"Yeah!" George agreed. "You didn't even blow anything up!"

"God—He's such a waste.." someone else said.

"—No heart at all!" 

"—Not even brains…" 

It snapped. I was hungry, soaking wet, dirty, had cost Gryffindor 30 points, had ruined a what seemed nice walk with Ron, had set up the one I loved, and now was in the middle of this. 

"Stop it!" I cried, covering my ears with my hands. "Just stop insulting him—for once!" There had fallen a painful silence, wherein everybody was staring at me in amazement, most of their mouths gaping open. 

"He's a human just like you," I continued.  "He _has_ got a mind and feelings, even though you might not realise that." 

Ron was the first one to get his control over his actions back. He jumped up, and walked to me. 

"Hermione," he said softly. "That guy has been dragging you through the mud since your very first day at Hogwarts. I know how much you appreciate your professors, but…"

"Get lost, Ron." I said disgusted, and walked out of the room. Fortunately nobody ran after me, and I quickly got a clean pyjama, and took a long, warm shower. Not only dirt disappeared with the water, but also tears, a lot of tears. And there was nobody's shoulder to cry on. As soon as I lay down on my bed, I fell asleep. 

*~*~*

Severus made sure Hermione was gone, before bringing both his hands to his temples. He doubted this pain was human. 

"Mom, gimme a cookie!!" It was Draco again. He was sitting on his knees now, his arms put around a tree and he hysterically bounced his head to it. Severus realised he had to help this boy quickly, before he would hurt himself anymore. He grabbed his wand, and tried to concentrate. 

"_Finite Incantatem._" Nothing happened. Damn that girl. She had put a very strong spell on Malfoy, and Severus didn't know if he still had the strength to break it. 

He took some more time to focus now, and tried to forget his headache. 

"_Finite Incantatem!" _he shouted, and this time he felt power being released from his wand. Malfoy abruptly stopped pounding, and grabbed to his head.

"What the--?" he exclaimed when he saw blood coming from his head, but then he noticed his professor. 

"I suggest you go see Madame Pomfrey, before returning to your dormitory," Severus drawled. Malfoy jumped up, and quickly walked past the Potions Master. 

"Yes, sir." he mumbled. He was in such a haste that he didn't notice how heavy Severus' breathing was. The tall man quickly clung onto the door, and put his teeth together. 

He wished he had stayed in his classroom instead of going outside to keep an eye on Hermione and Ron. 

_Get in then!_, a small voice in his head said, and Severus decided to do so. The rain and cold wind weren't going to make him any better. He quickly closed the door behind, and slowly started to walk down the stairs. He now literally was blinded by pain, and with every step he took, he felt like his head was being squashed against the wall. 

Finally, after what seemed hours, he reached the dungeons. Now, the door to his private room was only a few metres away. He groaned as he realised he needed to get his potion, or else he would be troubled the whole night. 

He hold on to the wall and moved forward, step by step. Twice his head hit a torch, and by the time he had reached his office, he had not enough sight to find the case with the potion, let alone the little bottle _with_ the potion. When he couldn't even find the strength to swear, he let himself fall on his desk. 

"Hermione," he cried out before becoming unconscious. "Hermione…" 

*~*~*

He woke up next morning. His back was stiff, and his head was still pounding, but at least he had his sight back. He stood up, and quickly drank something from the bottle labelled with "XJ501". He never used the actual names to put on his potions. If you had no knowledge of potions, then it wouldn't be easy to steal the right potion here. Only Severus knew the codes. 

As he looked at the clock, he saw his first class was almost arriving. Darn it, there wasn't even time for a shower or a cup of coffee. He groaned as he remembered his first class were the last year Gryffindors and Slytherins, for two hours. He quickly started walking to his classroom.

*~*~*

I was having mixed feelings about the upcoming Potions lesson. On one side, I was afraid Severus would piss me off even more than normal, and that he would take every opportunity to deduct points from my house. I knew that actually, for a fact. 

On the other hand, _I_ would have the opportunity to watch him again, and listen to his silky voice. That was a good thing. 

At least that's what I thought. 

_A/N: I was thinking again… Thank you for your reviews.. I made a (very) little poem for you!_

_I may not write for money,  
I do get a reward.  
A good review makes my day,  
And truly warms my heart._


	3. They confuse

_Thank you, again, for the reviews! You are too kind ;) Here's another chapter, as I promised. I'm already planning what will happen in the next… _

**'Just one more minute' never is enough**

I was really tensed as I took my seat in the dungeons. Ron was being very careful about what he said to me, and I noticed Harry was giving him significant looks and winks constantly.

Severus was just in time. I mean, _really_ just in time. He had to catch his breath for a moment, it seemed, before being able to speak.

"Page 411," he said briefly, and all of the students did as he said. It was a photograph potion—One we had done before already. I carefully put up my hand. 

"What?" he asked annoyed. 

"We've done this one a month ago, sir." I said, smiling pitifully. 

"So what?" he barked. "This important potion requires certain skills that can only be learned by a lot of practice."

I highly doubted the importance of the potion, but decided to keep the comment for myself.

"When you're done, bring me the potion and get lost." he said, sitting down behind his desk. 

While making the potion, I couldn't help but constantly glance at him. He was looking so stressed, and so exasperated by every noise he heard, that I really began to worry. Was his headache still bothering him? 

I doubted if he had told Dumbledore about those pains. Severus didn't want any help from the Headmaster. He thought Dumbledore had helped him enough by not only forgiving him, but also offering him a job on his own school. Severus on his turn had spied on  Voldemort, no matter how he had hated to work for the Dark Lord again. Now Voldemort was defeated, and Severus didn't do anything in return anymore, he refused _all_ the help Dumbledore offered. 

I helped Neville with everything; from cutting his ingredients into very small pieces ("Really, Hermione, you're almost pulverizing them!"), to cleaning his cauldron for him. I thought it was extremely odd Severus didn't notice. 

So, when everybody had already finished their potions, I hadn't even begun. _Me_ it took only 5 minutes to make it, and when I was ready, I walked to Severus' desk where he was working on some pieces of parchments. 

"So, how are you..?" I asked worriedly. With a jerk he lifted up his head. You see he was tensed. 

"I'm perfectly fine," he answered coolly, taking over my potion and observing it quietly. "Approved." He put the bottle away with the other potions of the students. 

"You're not looking much better than yesterday, you know." I said carefully, and before he could reply I quickly added, "Are you sure you don't want to see Madame Pomfrey?" 

"I think I can decide for my own whether I'm sick or not, thank you very much." he responded grumpily. I had expected something like that, but didn't give up. 

"I'm sure Dumbledore won't mind when you take a day off…" I said, trying to catch his gaze. This time, there was no reply. 

"Severus, you said you've been having these headaches since You-Know-Who has been destroyed. Don't you think that is weird? You really need to be examined!" No answer again. I sighed impatiently. 

"These headaches are like rotten hell, and you're getting them more often. It's necessary that--"

"For the last time: I don't need a student telling me what I should do!" he shouted, so suddenly, and so loud, that my eyes spontaneously started to burn. 

Maybe he just wanted to get rid of me, or perhaps he saw my watery eyes and couldn't stand them—maybe then, there was still hope?—but he finally stood up and let out an exasperated sigh. 

"Alright, I'll go see that woman. Now get moving to your next class." 

It was brief, but I was satisfied. I smiled, although it was more a grin,  muttered a "Thank you," and ran out of the dungeons.

*~*~*

After his classes, Severus Snape went to the Hospital Wing. Poppy was busy with some girl that had apparently broken her leg at a Quidditch game, so Severus had to wait, and it gave him the opportunity to look through the room. He kind of loathed _everything_ here. The white walls, the downy beds, the flowery curtains, the typical scent of hospital, and especially the woman who was running everything. 

He and Poppy had once had a quarrel—or as Severus called it; a disagreement—about the flu. Poppy had the opinion you could fight it the best with all sorts of medicine, but Severus thought she wasn't aware of the dangers that certain potions could have when they were drunk right after each other, and said she wasn't responsible enough. Of course Poppy had been furious, and ever since then, the two hadn't liked each other. Severus had never bothered; All his illnesses had he cured with his own potions. 

Finally the woman was ready, and the girl left. 

"Hello," Severus said, when Poppy didn't show any initiative. 

"Good afternoon, Severus." The woman responded in a tone that Severus didn't like at all. "What's bringing _you_ here?" 

Severus didn't want to tell this woman anything, but he remembered his promise. "I'm having—" He hesitated. Why was he doing this? Why was he showing his weaknesses to someone he didn't like and trust at all? 

"—headaches.. Someone advised me to get some medical help." he then said. 

"Really?" Poppy called. "Well, sit down and let me examine you, then." 

Severus looked at her in horror. "I'm not going to sit down." He said like he was being asked to sit in a litter bin. "I just want you to find out where those pains come from." 

Poppy impatiently put her hands on her hips. "Either you sit, or you leave." 

Severus was about to say in that case he would leave, when there was a knock on the door. Severus felt a shock go through his veins as Hermione entered. She greeted both Poppy and Severus as she sat down on a chair next to the window to wait. Poppy turned to Severus again.

"So, what will it be?"

Severus scowled at Hermione who was watching them curiously. He couldn't leave now she was here. What a clever thing to do for her. Sighing deeply, Severus sat down on the soft bed and let Poppy do all sorts of tests, while he answered questions reluctantly. 

It seemed to take hours, and it was a good thing there weren't any emergencies that afternoon, because Severus wouldn't have enjoyed waiting even longer. 

At last, she was done. 

"And?" Severus asked, extremely irritated. Poppy let out a sigh.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure, but I think, as it has been troubling you since You-Know-Who's destruction, that it might be an result of the Cruciatus curse. You said you've been under it for several times during fights with other Death Eaters, and there are cases known who've been through the same, and who are having similar symptoms. The pain may even increase, and there may possibly be—" 

"NONSENSE!" Severus suddenly burst. His fists were clenched, and his teeth gritted. "There's nothing wrong with me, and I knew that even before I came here!" He pulled away the curtains, and shot Hermione a quick glance. Then he stormed out of the Hospital Wing, leaving a very indignant Poppy and a worried Hermione. 

*~*~*

I tried to behave normal as Severus left the Wing. Why was he denying there _was_ something wrong? 

I saw Madame Pomfrey shake her head, and walked to her. 

"Why won't he listen?" I asked, trying not to sound too interested. Pomfrey shook her head again. 

"Don't try to understand. Probably thinks he's untouchable." 

I knew how wrong she was. Severus had always been very realistic, but it didn't seem like a good idea to comment that. 

"So, what may possibly be as well?" I asked curiously. 

"Long-term results, such as heart diseases, memory loss, etc. They are working on a medicine, but it's a heavy method, and takes some time to take affect. And then still it doesn't guarantee you will be healed completely." 

I swallowed. Heart diseases? Memory loss? There was suddenly an annoying beeping noise in my head that made it impossible for me to hear or think anymore, though I was aware that Pomfrey was saying something to me. 

"Excuse me, what were you saying?" I asked, extra loud so it might drive away the noise. It helped, though Pomfrey looked at me surprised.

"I asked what's wrong with you, as I assume you didn't come here for nothing, did you? Something with your ears, perhaps?" 

"No, of course not." I said absently. "My stomach was troubling me, but it's acting completely normal already, so I guess I'm leaving now. Bye." 

With this, I hastily left the room. 

*~*~*

_Sorry this is a bit short, I cut a scene, because it would kinda ruin the whole story… See next chapter for a bit more info on that._


	4. They stare

_Well, as for the previous chapter… I cut the scene with Draco out. I won't dare to ask you to reread the chapter, but just read this chapter like nothing of the sort happened =) So… Snape rushes off after Poppy told him about his illness, and Hermione leaves too. That's where I continued. _

**'Just one more minute' never is enough**

I wanted to go to the dungeons, but realised I couldn't convince him anyway. Confused, I went back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry and Ron were playing Wizard Chess, and I saw Neville was studying. I remembered I had to start doing that, too. The exams were only a few more weeks away now. 

So I joined Neville, grabbed "_The History of Magic Year VII– The extended version"_, and started reading. Unfortunately I couldn't concentrate. Why did Severus want to know none of his illness? I put the book away, and looked at Neville. Would he do the same?

Suspiciously, he looked up. "What?" 

I bit my lip, wondering if I could ask. 

"Neville, if you had a life-threatening disease, with only a very small chance on recovery, would you take the medicines?" 

"Of course!" he answered immediately. 

Yes, of course. Everybody with a logical mind would do that. But Severus' mind was much more complicated than anyone else's.

"Okay," I went on. "And what if someone else had the disease, but for some reason doesn't want to take the medicines? What would you do?" 

Neville put his book down, and stared at me, trying to think of an answer. 

"Gee, I don't know. Why?" 

I flushed. "Oh, nothing." I stood up, and walked out of the room again. I already knew what to do. I would tell Professor Dumbledore. He would know how to convince Severus.

*~*~*

I knocked at the door of the office. Now I was here, I suddenly wasn't too sure about it all. 

"Yes?" came it from the room. 

I didn't know if it was an invitation or a question, so I carefully pushed the door open. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, and smiled as soon as he saw me. 

"Ah, Miss Granger, please sit down." 

I walked into the office, closed the door behind, and then sat down at the chair in front of the desk. Out of nowhere, with a small _'poof'_, a can appeared in his hand. He hold it up to me. 

"Tea?" he asked. I shook my head. With a wave of his wand, the can was turned into a bottle.

"Apple juice then, perhaps?" 

I shook my head again. "No, thanks, Professor."

I had actually expected him to come with something else, lemonade, maybe, but he didn't. He put the bottle down on his desk, folded his hands with a smile, and then turned to me. 

"Miss Granger, then please tell me what's bringing you here." 

I nodded, but not exactly knew how to begin. "Erm, it's about Professor Snape.." I said eventually. Dumbledore didn't look surprised or whatsoever, he just smiled a bit broader.

"What about him?" he asked. 

I sighed. "Well, I know it actually is none of my business… But I overheard his and Madame Pomfrey's conversation in the Hospital Wing. She said he was suffering after-pains from the Cruciatus curse. She said… it might as well kill him." 

Dumbledore nodded understandingly. 

"I found it quite disturbing to hear that the professor refuses to undergo the treatment. It _is_ a very serious disease, after all." 

The Headmaster looked me in the eyes, and as he did so, I had the uncomfortable feeling he was not only looking into my eyes. Frightened by my own thought, I looked away. 

"I find that very alarming myself too, Miss Granger. Of course I don't want to loose yet another teacher, so I will try to talk to Professor Snape. Thank you very much for telling me. You may go now, if you're sure you don't want some apple juice." 

I was a bit stunned, actually. This was it? Not a sermon about minding my own business? Not an interrogation about what I was doing in the Hospital Wing?

I shook my head for the third time, stood up, and left, relieved that I wouldn't have had to explain everything.

*~*~* 

There was a knock at the door of Severus' private chambers. He opened it, annoyed by the fact someone was still bothering him at 3 pm. That someone was supposed to be asleep, and Severus himself was supposed to do the same, actually. 

It was Dumbledore, dressed in a dark blue nightdress with blue moons flying over it constantly.

"Good midnight, Headmaster," Severus greeted sarcastically. 

"Hello, Severus," he smiled. "May I come in?" 

Severus thought about saying no, but then nodded. They sat down on the couch. 

"So, what are you doing up so late, Albus?" Severus asked, not doing any trouble to offer him a drink or something.

"I was just checking if you were still awake," Albus answered. Severus could barely resist to glare.

"Well, I am, as you see." 

There was a silence. Eventually, Dumbledore was the one who spoke. 

"How's your head?" 

"It's fine." Severus snapped. That guy always seemed to know everything, now didn't he? He narrowed his eyes. "Why?" 

Dumbledore took a breath, then blew it out in a sigh. He straightened his back as preparing himself for something.

"When I was young, Severus – a very long time ago, as you might guess – I already loved socks. But of course, as a teenager, I got quite ashamed of that, and told myself not to buy socks anymore. And I didn't. You know what happened? The next winter, I caught a terrible cold." 

Severus stared at the old man blankly. He felt frustration well up inside him. "I asked you something, Albus, and all of sudden you start rambling about socks…" 

"You don't listen, Severus." Dumbledore said.

"Perhaps I _would_ listen if you were a bit more concrete, Albus." Angrily Severus looked away. He was tired, had things to think about, and now Dumbledore was coming with this Oracle-thing.

"Someone is very worried about you, Severus, and this time, it's not me."

Now that was concrete. It didn't took Severus much time to figure out who that 'someone' was. 

"So she heard," he said. "She heard, and she talked." 

Dumbledore stood up, and stared in the fire, the only source of light in the room. "Well," he said. "Some can hide their emotions less perfect than others can." 

Severus startled as Dumbledore turned around to look at him. His intriguing look sent a shiver down his spine. He snorted. "What's the real reason you're here, Albus? To make comments on my way of handling? Why must you stamp it in my mind?" 

Dumbledore looked at Severus pitifully. He took a few steps forward, and put his hand on Severus' shoulder. 

"Because, my friend," he whispered. "I don't know why you're paining yourself so much. Because eventually, who's standing in the way? I… or your feeling of guilt?" He gave a squeeze before letting go. 

Severus searched Dumbledore's eyes. Wait a minute – This wasn't about his headaches… But before he could ask, Dumbledore had swept out of the room with a friendly, "Goodnight". 

Severus stared into the fire, his thoughts spinning in his head.

*~*~*

That night, I made up my mind; I had done everything within my power to help Severus, and now it really was time to focus on other things. The final examinations, for example. I promised myself to start studying tomorrow morning, before breakfast. 

I woke up by the sound of my magical alarm, the miniature of a witch that imitated the sounds of magical creatures. I had bought it during our last visit to Hogsmead. 

It was not always too convenient though; sometimes she imitated the sound of a flobberworm, and you wouldn't hear anything at all. But now the screeching of an owl filled the dormitory, and I heard my dormmates groan. 

"Mione!" Paravati Patil yawned. "Let that beast shut up! It's about 6 in the mo'nin'!" 

"Wrong!" I said, stretching out my arms and legs. "It's only 4 in the night!" 

All of the girls let out exasperated noises. Not yet being able to open my eyes, I stumbled out of my bed and searched the floor for my robes with my wand in it. 

"Can I borrow anyone's wand for a moment?" I asked drowsily, looking up but not seeing anything but darkness. Someone grumbled, and a few seconds later a wand hit my head. 

"Thanks, Lavender," I said sarcastically. "You're ever so nice. _Lumos._" 

I blinked a few times hard, and ignored the protest. I put on my robes, grabbed my books together, threw back Lavender's wand, and left the dormitory. As soon as I closed the door, my alarm stopped screeching. 

As I made my way to the Library, I suddenly realised that about 4 years ago, I would've been scared to walk into Snape or Peeves at this hour of the night. I grinned. Now, I was Head Girl, and had every right to be up so late (or early), and would be graduating in less than 2 months. 

I sighed. Graduating would mean a new world, with more to explore, more to learn and more to go for. But it also meant leaving Hogwarts, my home. Leaving my friends. Leaving Severus. 

Angry at myself for letting his name slip into my mind again, I threw open the door of the Library, and sat down in a chair. "Arithmancy first." I whispered to the book, and opened it, ready to study. 

In the past 6 years studying had always went very easily. Stamping facts about Harold XXIII in your head, learning as many spells as you can and getting to know the essence of abyssinian shrivelfig in a mix of powdered bicorn horn and frog brains were not things I did because I had to, but because I liked them.  

So when I found myself being unable to concentrate, I got very frustrated. I tried another subject, Care for Magical Beasts, but couldn't even store the habitat of the Horklump into my head. 

Angrily I threw the book against the wall, then stared at it. Why wouldn't it work? Even now I wanted to forget everything, I couldn't. 

I closed my eyes, and let myself fall back in the chair. I was probably just too tired. How late was it? I looked up to the clock, and it was the first time I actually looked into the library. Naturally I had expected it to be empty, and my heart missed a beat as I noticed it wasn't. 

A dark brooding figure was sitting a few tables away from me, and my heart missed another beat as I realised it was Severus Snape who was staring at me. 

I hadn't heard him come in, so had he been looking at me since I arrived? I frowned. Why didn't he say anything? But as I didn't know anything to say either, we just stared at each other for a while. 

It was weird. For the first time in a few days there was not a single thought flying through my head. Just gazing into his eyes – A wonderful silence, with nothing but emptiness in my mind. 

It almost seemed like a few weeks ago, when I wasn't ashamed either of staring at him. Only now, there was a disturbing distance between the two of us.

Then he suddenly stood up, not taking his eyes off me until he turned to leave. 

I stared after him, still stunned by that very moment. The emptiness in my mind was slowly fading away, and after a few minutes I stood up, picked up the book, and looked out of the window. 

*~*~*

Severus had needed the time to think, and there had been something inside him that had told him the library was the place. The library, where he had first considered what kind of consequences his relationship with Hermione would have.

And so Severus had gone to the library, and had sat there, thinking about what Dumbledore had said. 

_Dumbledore or his feeling of guilt?_  Severus knew Dumbledore hadn't tried to say he actually accepted a teacher-student relationship, but eventually, he was right. There were only a few more weeks before Hermione would no longer be his student. If they could wait.. just wait… 

He sighed. A few more weeks. He had decided that it was over between him and Hermione, and although it had been hard, he had, more or less, been able to accept that. So a few more weeks to wait, with the prospect they'd soon be free… That had to do. 

So what was keeping him from telling her that? Telling her that he was so sorry about everything he had said, everything he had done. 

His feeling of guilt, maybe? 

And then she had come in, her face serious and determined, and she had sat down, not noticing him. He had watched her, not announcing himself. She was such an intelligent creature, seeming to understand everything, and with a mind so simple, yet so complicated. She had seen so little of the world, and he had been in the darkest places, had done the darkest things… Things she would forgive him easily, simply because she loved him. But she hadn't been there. She hadn't felt the pain, the fear, and the despair he had felt. The anger and the hatred. 

When she had suddenly exploded, and thrown the book away, Severus knew it was because of him. Then she had seem him, and she seemed to have forgotten the anger. He wished he could do the same with the feeling of guilt, but when he looked her in the eyes, it only became stronger. 

Loving her would be wrong. He couldn't do that to her. He stood up, and left the library. He felt a head ache coming up. 


	5. They break

_Ha, you didn't think I was not going to finish this fic, now did you? I usually write at night, but as a friend of my mother was staying at our place, and the daughter of that friend was sleeping at my room, I couldn't. So, yeah, I blame her. But to make things up a bit, I tried to make this chapter longer than the others. So, will you forgive me? =)_

**'Just one more minute' never is enough**

After a few minutes I woke up from my ecstasy, and I walked back to the chair to sit down. Involuntarily my look went back to the place Severus had been sitting. A single sob escaped my throat. "Why can't it be…" I whispered to the darkness. "_Why_ can't it be?" 

I suddenly felt something fuzzy touching my leg, and jumped up with a small scream. When I looked, I saw it was just Crookshanks. I put my hand on the place where my heart was rapidly beating beneath my flesh, and sat down again, relieved. 

"You nearly gave me a heart-attack!" I whispered, picking him up and hugging him tightly. He didn't resist, like any normal cat would have done. 

"But you're not a normal cat, are you?" 

I smiled, realising I had never actually showed Crookshanks to Severus. My smile faded. It was just sad how I always managed to lead everything back to Severus. I tightened my grip even more, forcing my tears back. "But… I miss him so…" 

Crookshank's cramping miaow made me come to the realisation I was almost squeezing him to death, and I quickly let go. He jumped onto the table, and sat down opposite me. I stared into his green eyes and saw myself reflected in them; a pretty girl of only 18 years old, and nothing odd that you could notice from the outside. How surprised would everyone be if they could see the inside…

I felt so desperate. Once again, I had the urge to go visit him again, but I knew how wrong that would be. 

"Why don't _you_ tell me what to do?" I asked Crookshanks. But he simply stared at me, not moving, and not even blinking.

_You already know what to do._  It was a flash of a thought, but for a moment I could have sworn it had been Crookshanks' voice. I shook my head violently. This was all driving me insane.

"I _have_ to go, Crookshanks. There's no other way." I thought I could see the cat nodding, and quickly stood up, leaving all my books behind. 

It was only then that I noticed how cold the corridors actually were at night. A chilly breeze made me shiver, and I accelerated, even though I was dreading the visit a bit. Severus wasn't going to be happy to see me… or was he? I hadn't forgot the mysterious staring yet. 

There it was, his private chamber. I knocked on the door, shocked by the sudden shaking of my hands. There was no response. However, I did hear something.

"Severus?" I called, trying the door. Fortunately it was open, and I stepped into the room. Everything was dark and I could hardly see a thing. Someone was groaning, and when I lit the top of my wand, I saw it was Severus. His hands pressed against his temples and his face sour of pain, he was laying on the ground. My mouth fell open, and I quickly ran over to him, trying to pull him up.

"Severus!" I called, starting to panic. "W-what happened?" 

He opened his eyes, and looked at least twice as shocked to see me as I had looked when I had seen him. "'ermione?" 

Then he got hit by another stab of pain, and he groaned aloud, flinching. I couldn't face it any longer, I had to help him. But how? Then it hit me. 

"I'll get you to the Hospital Wing." I tried to pull him up again, but when that wouldn't work, I ended the lumos spell, and tried to pull him up with magic. It worked, but I still needed something to put him on. I searched in the dark for something with one hand, still holding the wand, and grabbed the first thing my hands came across. It was some sort of blanket – not great, but it had to do. I stretched it, and now I only had to get Severus on it. 

He was struggling against the spell, and I had the greatest trouble keeping him on his feet. It was so very sad to see, and I came to the realisation that I was only taking away more of his energy. I softly put him on the ground again, and decided to seek for another solution. Didn't he have some sort of potion? I ran over to a large case with several potions, and hastily searched for the right one. But there were no labels on the bottles, and I had no idea how a pain-easing potion looked or smelled like.

Frustrated and desperate, I sat down next to him, taking his head in my hands.

"Please, Severus," I breathed heavily. "Madame Pomfrey might be able-" 

"NO!" 

I was quite taken aback by the fact that the man still didn't want any help from her, but somehow it didn't surprise me. I stared at him. He _needed_ medical help, help I couldn't give him. Why was he being so stubborn? 

But I knew I couldn't make him go there if he didn't want to, and he certainly was determined not to. And so I just sat there, pained by his pain, trying to find a solution. Now and then the pain seemed to ease, but then it suddenly struck back, even worse than before, and even though he wasn't actually screaming it out, I could see from his face how he was suffering. 

Then I got another idea. _Impertio_. The spell was supposed to take away half of the pain of one, and 'give' it to the one doing the spell. It was perfect. I took some distance, pulled out my wand again, preparing myself for the spell. It was a tough one, and especially when it had to bring over such incredible pains. It certainly wouldn't be easy, but I had to do it. For Severus. 

"_Impertio!_" I whispered. A blue strain was built between me and Severus, and the spell immediately took effect. My head was suddenly pounding unceasingly, and I let myself fall on the ground, grabbing for my head. It was unbearable, like someone was literally jumping on my head. I didn't know what I had expected, but this was much, much worse. I cried it out, rolled over the floor, and constantly hit chairs, walls, desks, and other things. 

I searched for my wand, wanting to end this damned spell, but then reminded myself what I was doing this for. Severus had felt a pain twice as terrible, so how much of a relief did it have to be for him now he had to bear only half? 

Wait—did I hear something calling me? Yes, it was Severus' voice. But why was he calling me? I honestly didn't know, and remained on the floor.

"Hermione!" It was a lot clearer this time, and the voice forced me to open my eyes. So it _had_ been Severus… He was already looking so much better than a few more moments ago. 

"Hermione, STOP IT!" He shook my shoulders, and I wondered why he was doing that. The pain was making my mind so hazy… But look, he _was_ touching me now… I smiled. 

Then it stopped. The blue strain vanished. The pain disappeared. Severus fell back on the ground, once again grabbing for his head, but my wand was still in his hands. Why had he ended the spell? I crawled over to him, and forced him to look at me. 

"Why?" I asked. "Why won't you let me take over some of your pain? Why won't you let Madame Pomfrey research you? Why won't you let anyone help you?" 

He suddenly looked very angry, and grabbed my hand with a power I hadn't expected. 

"Whywon't _you_ just let go of me?"

I knew he was trying to let that sound bitter, but the pain made even _his_ voice quaver a bit. My heart cracked, and I really felt like crying. Didn't he understand?

"Because I love you!" I paused, catching my breath. "It's so simple, and yet you manage to make it so very difficult! Why, Severus? Once again, I ask you; _Why?!_" 

 "Now listen!" His grip tightened, and he pulled himself up a bit, bringing his face only a few inches away from mine, although I could see from his expression that that was not for he was going to kiss me; his face had hardened even more. "You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what I have done. You. Don't. Know. A. Thing." 

Tears prickled in my eyes. Who would have thought that anyone would tell Hermione Granger, probably one of the most intelligent creatures on earth, that she didn't know a thing? 

"I have studied…" I started, but got interrupted. 

"You know I don't mean _that_," he snorted. 

But I didn't. For the first time in my life I felt really dumb. I didn't know what he meant, I didn't know what he was doing, and I didn't know what I had to do, or had to say. I backed away, suddenly feeling very ashamed. There I sat, and stared. 

"Now," he broke the silence. "Go back to your dormitory, and begin minding your own business for once, for your own sake." 

I stood up, still gazing at him. My mind was still very hazy, but I wasn't going to leave. Not now. Not ever.

"Teach me." I whispered. 

*~*~*

"What?" Severus tried to hide his surprise, but failed. His head was still aching, but fortunately it had eased a bit now.

"You say I don't know a thing, so I want you to teach me everything I don't know!" Just a few seconds ago she had been so broken, but now her eyes were all of sudden shooting fire. Severus was fascinated by her determination, and it took him a couple of seconds before he realised what she had said. 

"Teach you?" He knew he was sounding stupid, but then, how had she expected him to react on such a stupid comment?

"Yes, if those… 'things' are a part of you, I want to know them. And I want to know them right now, whatever they might be." 

He almost let out a laugh, but realised that if he even smiled, his cheeks would crack.

"Don't be silly, the things I'm talking about are things you don't _want_ to know. The answer is no." He thought that would do, but unfortunately, it wouldn't. Hermione stared at him, and suddenly a smile crossed her lips. A strange feeling rushed over Severus. He didn't like that smile at all.

"Where did you hide your pensieve again?" 

Severus' heart missed a few beats. So he had been right about that smile! If she got her hands on that pensieve, then she would be able to see everything he had put away, everything he'd rather not think about… 

He stood up, too quickly, and lost his balance again. 

Hermione now walked to his desk, and Severus stretched out his hand for her, but she was too far away. _Not the desk…_

"Miss Granger, I warn you!" he shouted. "You know looking into someone else's pensieve is punishable, so don't you dare…" he stopped, because he saw she wasn't listening anyway; she had opened the drawer of his desk, and he knew the pensieve was there.

"Miss Granger," he tried again, and she did look up now. 

"Trying to intimidate is not always a solution, you know." she stated, and with that, she put her hand in the smoke-like liquid. Severus tried his very best to raise himself on his feet, but the ache in his head had cost him too much power, and he collapsed, his head hitting the table. Even before he fell on the ground he was unconscious. 

*~*~*

I had expected to see a dark place with Death Eaters in a circle, as Harry had described a few years back, but instead, I stood in a bright room, with fresh, yellow walls and the scent of detergent. Anyhow, the 2 hooded figures made the room even creepier than a dark, abandoned place. A young boy around the age of 7 was sleeping peacefully in his bed, unaware of danger that was approaching him.

"We always get the little ones," I heard one of the Death Eaters complain while he walked to the bed, and pulled the blanket away from the boy. "Just because we're younger, doesn't mean _we_ can't have fun with the women." He now pulled the boy out of his bed, who drowsily muttered something, before he was thrown against the wall. He started to cry, and I ran to him, wanting to consol him, tell him everything would be okay, and that he was just inside a pensieve, but when I reached for his arm, my hand went straight through his body, and I realised that he was just a part of the memory. Frustrated that I had let me fooled so easily, I stood back against the wall, and decided to just watch. 

The child was now trying to get away, and the one who had spoken before pulled out his wand, and with a wave of it the boy slammed into the wall again. 

"Well, Severus, what are you waiting for?" he asked impatiently, and I realised with a shock that the other Death Eater was indeed Severus. 

He had his wand already stretched out, and suddenly I felt like the room was all quiet – and although it was merely a hiss, the curse sounded like a whip crack. 

"_Crucio_." 

Immediately the boy started screaming and he cried even louder; he waved his arms and kicked his legs in a attempt to ease the pain, but naturally it didn't help. I swallowed, once again feeling the urge to run to the boy, or tell Severus to stop. All useless actions, and so I remained standing there, not even turning away my face. 

So if this was what Severus had meant – I could live with that. I already knew he had been a Death Eater, and this was all part of it. It was horrible, yes, and I had not expected it to be so painful, but it was all part of something I already knew. So if this was all…

I suddenly noticed the boy was no longer screaming. Dark bruises had covered his face, arms and legs, but he was no longer crying, and the only thing that was keeping him moving was the curse. 

The other Death Eater noticed it too, and started to walk out of the room. When Severus still didn't end the curse, he looked back, and slapped Severus' shoulder. 

"He's dead, mate, let's go watch the others." 

Severus continued his curse a few more seconds, but then gave in. He stared at the lifeless body, turned around, and then left the room. 

The scene got replaced by another, a dark one this time. The happenings, however, were almost the same. This time Severus tortured a young woman. 

And I got to see more scenes with Severus as a Death Eater, where he tortured, manipulated and killed, all just as horrible. I wondered when it would stop, when the pensieve would simply ran out of memories. But it didn't. 

Slowly, I got used to the blood, to the horrible smell, to the awful screaming and the crying of the victims. To the pleas, the green flashes of light, and the dark bruises on their bodies. I didn't know how many scenes I had been watching, but there must've been more than hundred.

I saw Severus growing up, becoming stronger, but strange enough not becoming more certain. It seemed like he was becoming more insecure. It took him a few seconds before he could get himself to draw his wand, say the curse, and do the job. He didn't laugh along with the other Death Eaters; he always remained silent. And so, I had no longer eye for the victims, but only for Severus. 

Then another scene appeared. Immediately I felt something was different about this one. Severus wasn't wearing his mask and wasn't hooded, and for the very first time I could see his face. Also he was younger than in the last scene, not much older than I was, like the pensieve had sorted all the memories by date, but had forgotten this one. 

Severus stood in the room, a dark room, his face only lit by the moonlight falling through the window. He was looking extremely tensed, like I had never seen him be before. He paced around through the room, now and then looking up at the door. Finally, the door went open, and a girl his age walked into the room. Severus literally jumped up, and walked to her. She smiled a pretty smile, and kissed him. I felt something rushing over me – jealousy? – and took a step forward.

Severus pulled back, and looked at her with something as pity in his eyes. Then he hugged her tightly, and stepped back. The girl, confused, took a step forward. 

"What's wrong, Severus?" she asked worriedly. 

Severus didn't answer, now having a deadly serious look on his face, and only pulled his wand. He pointed it at her, but remained standing there. "I'm sorry…" he mumbled, and before the girl could realise what he was doing, Severus had already muttered the curse. The familiar flash of green light filled the room, and when it was gone, the girl was laying lifelessly on the ground. Severus stared at her, and I thought he was going to kneel down beside her. But instead, he looked away, and stepped over her dead body out of the room. The room disappeared, and I got to see the first memory, with the little boy again. 

It took me a couple of seconds before realising I had seen this one before, and that I needed to get out of the pensieve. Getting out of the pensieve was just like waking up from a dream; when you realise that what you're seeing is not real, that they are just things your mind is making up, you'll be able to move your real body again, which means open up your eyes, or in my case, pull my fingers out of the grey liquid. 

For a moment I didn't know where I was, but then I saw the desk, and the pensieve, and looked around to see Severus laying on the ground, some blood pouring out of his head. Not being able to move, I stared. I just stared. 

*~*~*

_A/N: I hope it wasn't too weird. Now look what I did! Don't you feel sorry for both Severus and Hermione? Lol, I first thought Crookshanks was a 'she'… I'm glad I took the time to look that up. Anyway, the friend and the daughter are finally leaving (I don't mean to be rude, the daughter really is a sweet kid…), but now a friend of mine is staying for 2 days. If you're lucky, I'll be able to get her to sleep in some other room (she screams in her sleep… waking me up very early in the morning), so I'll be able to write at nights. But I can't make any promises, she's one of the very few friends I have :P _


	6. They decide

_I tried to write it as soon as possible. Simply nothing would come up. So, yeah, it's short. And yeah, it's the end. And finally, yes, there will be an epilogue. _

**'Just one more minute' never is enough**

I sat on the ground, hugging my legs tightly and looking at the man on the couch. With the greatest trouble I had got him there, and I had tried to tend the wound on his head as good as I could. The blood was no longer flowing, and Severus had been sleeping for a while now. I had found some candles, and had lit them to take away that awful darkness. Still, I felt miserable. I actually had to get Madame Pomfrey, or at least had to warn someone, but something kept me from doing so, and I wondered what that was. 

I had always tried to do the right thing, no matter what. I had even told McGonagall about Harry's mysterious gift in our third year, knowing perfectly well how big the chance was that McGonagall was going to research it. Doing the right thing had never cost me any trouble –even when I had to steal ingredients from Severus' office, I had the feeling it was all for the good— but now I really didn't know. A part of me, the old Hermione, was screaming that I simply _had_ to tell someone. But the newer one knew that was wrong. Now how was I supposed to know who the true Hermione Granger was?

I slowly rocked back and forth, the memories of the pensieve returning. I had not only disrespected his privacy, but also left him alone when he shouldn't had been left alone. I had caused that wound on his head. Without a doubt, I had done the wrong thing tonight. 

When I looked up again, I saw he had opened his eyes and was staring at the ceiling. I wanted to say something, ask him how he felt, ask him if he needed anything. Guilt had taken away my voice. I just opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish, and gaped at him. He still stared at the ceiling. _Don't cry,_ I told myself, blinking a few times hard. _Not now. It's your own stupid fault._

I became aware of the fact that I was now rocking back and forth like a hysteric child, and I quickly stopped. I carefully looked up to Severus, hoping he hadn't been watching me. He hadn't. He was still staring at the ceiling, and I startled at the sound of his hoarse voice.

"Hermione…" he said, then paused a moment, suddenly turning his head to look at me. "I'm sorry." 

"You?" I blurted out in my surprise. "What are _you_ feeling sorry for? _I_ am the one who's supposed to feel sorry, not you."

"Of course you are supposed to feel sorry," he snapped, turning away to the ceiling again. The sudden harshness of his voice made me flinch, pulling op my legs even more. "But still…" 

"So, what are you going to do now?" I asked timidly. "You going to sue me? For looking into your pensieve?" 

He snorted. "I'm sure looking in it was enough punishment for you."

"Although I am sorry, I do not regret what I did." I said softly. With a jerk Severus turned to look at me and I saw he didn't understand. "I have a few questions… Do you mind…?" 

He gave me a puzzled look, and I realised it was much to ask. Perhaps too much. Just when I had already accepted he was going to refuse, he gave in, looking away and reluctantly muttering a small, "Sure." 

I smiled a thankful smile. "Thank you. The man you were constantly with… Was it Lucius Malfoy?" 

His response was merely a nod. Obviously he wasn't going to give extended answers.

"You were friends?" I asked.

"No." The disgust on his face made clear that he had rather said, 'No, not at all.' I continued, thinking hard of another question.

"So, you guys didn't hang out on other times?" I tried, shivering at the idea. 

"No. Now get to the point, will you?"

I bit my lip. Could I really ask the question? I had been dying to know since the moment I saw her, but I knew it wasn't my business at all. Then again, I could just try. "The very last memory… With the girl—who was she?" 

Severus kept silent. He remained like that for a few minutes, and I studied him carefully. It was like he had never heard me, like he was just staring at the ceiling out of boredom. 

"Severus?" I called. 

"She was just another girl Voldemort wanted to dispose of," he growled. I was not convinced.

"No, she was not 'just' a girl, not to you. I saw it in your eyes." I said matter-of-factly. Actually, I had seen nothing, but I hoped he would tell me some more. Once again there was a silence. I stood up from the ground, and walked to the bench, sitting down on the arm bench. Even though I was hanging above him, he just stared straight through me like I wasn't there at all.

"Severus," I said again. "You can tell me." 

He turned his head just a very little, and our eyes met. The pain in his eyes struck right to my heart.  

"All right," he finally sighed, and I thought I could hear him mutter something that sounded like, 'those damned eyes'. "She was someone I cared about. But she was a bloody Gryffindor, and if I wanted to join Voldemort, I had to kill her. And so I did." 

He told it like it happened to him every day, but after spending so much time with him, I could look through him. 

"Did you love her?" I asked, already knowing the answer. It took him a while before he answered.

"Unfortunately, I did." He failed to sound indifferent. I stared at him, feeling so sorry. I didn't know what to say. 'Losing someone you love is hard, but losing someone you love at the hand of your own must be terrible.' I mentally slapped myself. Even just _thinking_ that was cruel.

"I am sorry. I really am." I said. 

"Well, you shouldn't be. I joined the Death Eaters, and I… have learned from every minute I spent with them." As I could not read his face, I just asked.

"You saying your time with the Death Eaters was a good one?" 

"I'm only saying," he said in an annoyed tone. "that if I had known everything I learned from them just a few years earlier, then perhaps…" He didn't finish his sentence, but I could think of a dozen of endings.

"From looking into that pensieve I learned something too." I said. 

"Oh really? And what is that? 'Never look into the pensieve of a former Death Eater,'?" he said sarcastically. I ignored it.

"That I will love you, no matter what." 

*~*~*

It wasn't a promise, nor was it a wish; it was a simple statement, Severus knew. He was stunned, but when he had found his ability to speak again, it was out of pure anger. He had tried everything to let go off her, and now she still wouldn't let go off him. Not even after everything she had seen…

"No," he said matter-of-factly. "No, you won't. And you know why, Hermione? Because tomorrow I'll brew a Love Potion, so strong, that you'll forget your feelings for me in an instant. And because you're at the top of your class, I'll let you choose. So, tell me now, who do you want to fall in love with? Potter or Weasley? Or perhaps that clumsy Longbottom?" 

He watched how her eyes were suddenly filled with tears. 

"You wouldn't do that," she whispered. "You would never do that." 

"Oh yes, I would," Severus snapped, starting to get angry. "If you continue visiting me, you might even ruin my career." 

"You wouldn't!" she shouted, backing away. "Because you love me!" 

Severus snorted. "Oh really?" he said again.

"Then say you don't." once again it was merely a whisper.

"Say what?" he asked.

"Say you don't love me." She was deadly serious. Severus weighed his chances. He would lie if he said he didn't love her, but perhaps that would make her go away. 

"Easy." He looked her in the eyes, gathering all his strength, trying not to think of what he was going to do. Because all he had to do, was say the words. She would never know that he didn't mean it.

"I…"  _No!_ cried his heart. _You will break the girl's heart, you git! _He paused, trying to get the voice out of his head.

"I do not…" Severus looked into her eyes, her wonderful eyes. Oh _God_, she was so close. How could she have come so close?

"I really do not…" Now what was he supposed to say again? He couldn't remember it, but it didn't matter. She was so close that he could smell her, almost taste her… He hated himself for not being able to remember how she tasted. 

"Miss Granger!" he suddenly reminded himself aloud. She looked puzzled, but then managed a smile.

"You can't say it, can you?" she said, not with the smallest hint of triumph. Severus was about to make a nasty comment, when she lowered her head and he felt how she pressed her lips against his. Even though he was like frozen, he opened his mouth automatically and felt her tongue slid into his mouth. _So that was how she tasted… _He reached out his hand for her, but found there was nothing but air. As he pulled away and opened his eyes he saw she was still hanging above him, sitting in an incredible position. He sat right up a bit, gesturing beside him. 

"Perhaps you find sitting here more comfortable."  


	7. They survive

**'Just one more minute' never is enough**

The night of graduation. I knew it wasn't necessary at all, but I was incredibly nervous. I stood in front of the mirror, pulling my clothes. Was it a nice dress? Was my hair under control? How was my make-up? I needed someone to tell me, and I looked around for someone.

"Lavender!" I said in an urgent tone. "How do I look?" 

Lavender turned around, her lipstick in her one hand and in the other a hairbrush. Her eyes widened when she saw me, and I started to walk back to my wardrobe. "You're right, I'll get something else." 

"No!!" Lavender suddenly shrieked, and she ran to me. "I-I don't… You! You look fabulous!"

I narrowed my eyes. "Really?" 

"Woa- yeah! I don't know who your date is this time, but he'll be guaranteed to receive many jealous looks!" she exclaimed. 

I turned away so she couldn't see me flushing. However, I couldn't suppress a giggle. "Don't say that!" 

"Oh, our Hermione gets shy!" joked Parvati, who had just appeared from the bathroom. "Come to think of it, you still haven't told us who your date actually is. So, who are you taking to the feast?" 

I stared at them, trying to remain serious. "I _told_ you; I'm not taking anyone."

Now it was their turn to stare. "We don't believe you." Lavender said simply. She turned to Parvati. "I bet she's taking Ron!" 

"Nah," Parvati shook her head. "She probably would have told us if it was him." 

"Or it's someone who rejected one of us, and she's afraid we'll be angry at her if she tells…" Lavender said, her eyes wide open.

Parvati glanced at Lavender. "Even if you're right, then there are too much to choose from and we'll still have to guess." She narrowed her eyes like she was thinking hard. "I think the reason she won't tell us is that the one she's taking to the ball, is someone we don't like at all, maybe hate… Someone dark and evil; The Slytherin of all Slytherins…-" 

I became nervous. Would they really guess?!

"No!" Lavender exclaimed, covering her mouth with her hand. "Not Draco!" 

"Oh, come on, girls!" I sighed, although it was more out of relief than out of annoyance. "I'm really not taking anyone! And especially not Draco." 

"Then why did you dress up like this?" Lavender asked.

"Perhaps because this will be the last evening I'll spend at Hogwarts, the Hogwarts we've stayed at for 7 years? Or perhaps because I've studied and studied and studied again, hoping it would be enough to graduate someday, like I'm doing now?" 

That worked. The two girls gave up, but were not satisfied. I smiled as they walked away. They would get what they wanted. Soon. 

*~*~*

The night of graduation. Severus scowled at a couple of Gryffindors who entered the Great Hall. He knew they were too glad they would never have to follow his lessons again, and he really didn't care. He felt the same about getting rid of them, too. 

"Ah, time has flown, hasn't it, Severus?" Albus Dumbledore sat down next to him, putting aside a huge flowery plant. The staff table had been turned into something 'cheerful', just like the rest of the Great Hall. The House tables had been removed and all of the chairs were turned to the space in front of the staff table. Soft music was playing. Severus loathed it, and felt even more surly than before. 

"Save your speeches for the children, Albus," he spat, not noticing himself how rude he was sounding.

"Oh, but you can't really call them children anymore," He gave a nod into the direction of Potter. "Harry Potter has fought more dark wizards than most of the fully grown-ups have fought. And Mister Malfoy has learned one of the biggest lessons one can learn. Not to mention Mister Longbottom, who was not only proven to others, but especially to himself, that he _is_ a true Gryffindor."

_Like that says anything,_ Severus thought, deciding to keep it to himself. Dumbledore stood up after making sure everybody had arrived, and began his speech for the children. Once again it was a different one than the one he had held the previous years, but it contained the same messages; thank you for being here, you were fun, good luck in the future, and I'll always be there for you. Bla, bla, bla. 

Severus' eyes drifted off to the students. All of them were carefully listening to the old man, not one of them, except for a few Slytherins, showing a sign of boredom. Yes, the Slytherins. Now that Voldemort was no longer there, what would the Slytherins do? Possibly there would be a new powerful wizard, gathering followers and perhaps being even worse than Voldemort.

Then he noticed Hermione, and immediately his mouth fell open. She was looking astonishingly beautiful. Closing his mouth, but not taking his eyes off her, he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. 

She suddenly turned his head into his direction, and smiled at him weakly. Feeling like someone had just poured hot water into his stomach, Severus jumped up, his chair falling on the ground with loud clattering.

Dumbledore paused, and Severus felt everyone's curious eyes resting upon him. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Excuse me," Without another word he walked out of the Great Hall, to the men's bathroom. Letting some cold water flow over his wrists, he stared into the mirror. Cold sweat was standing on his forehead, and he looked bewildered. _What had she done to him?_ He took a few good breaths to calm himself down. 

He could still hear the noises coming from the Great Hall. Dumbledore had finished his speech, and it was McGonagall's turn to thank everyone before calling them forward one by one. Severus walked back in, and took his seat. Questioning looks he answered with glares. 

"Hermione Granger!" McGonagall called, and Severus watched how she walked forward, receiving her certificate. There was a lot of applause, and Severus tried to look utterly bored. When she asked for a few words, his face showed nothing but irritation, even though he was curious to what she was going to say. Probably some thanks… 

"Beside everyone else, I want to thank Harry and Ron in special, for being my best friends ever. You know I care for you, and I probably ever will." 

Severus scowled at Harry, who had a stupid grin on his face. Hermione continued. "There's one more person I want to thank. For teaching me things I couldn't have learned from books, but also for daring to love me, despite everything, and for simply understanding." 

In one swift movement she turned her head to Severus, and he felt how for the second time that night the attention was drawn to him. Obviously they didn't understand a thing about this all, but Hermione clarified that. "Thank you, Severus. I'm so glad to love you." 

Immediately the whole Hall burst out in whispers, and all kinds of questions were launched at Severus. Ron Weasley was the only one to laugh out loud, and he didn't stop until everyone looked at him. 

"That's a good one, Hermione!" he laughed, holding on to Harry so he wouldn't lose his balance. "You and Snape, that's a good one!" 

Severus watched how Hermione gave him a pitiful look. She suddenly looked so mature, he realized. "I'm sorry I haven't told you, Ron, but it's true. It really is…" 

The seriousness finally seemed to dawn on the red-haired boy. His laughter faded, and his face showed a vague expression. Then he fainted. 

Amazed by her guts Severus turned back to Hermione, but slowly anger started to well up inside him. How dare she embarrass him like that? How dare she ruining his pride, his name, his worth?! He stared at her, for a few seconds too angry to do anything. Finally he stood up, and the Hall fell silent, holding their breath, curiously awaiting what would happen next. Would he yell at her? Would he take away points, stop her from graduating, or would he hex her? 

With huge steps Severus walked to Hermione, grabbing her arm, and pulling her away from the crowd, out of the Great Hall, and out of the castle. She didn't resist, like she had expected this to happen. When they were outside, he finally let go. 

"What do you think you're doing?" he hissed, trying to read her face. 

She grabbed his head between her hands. "Don't you see? It doesn't matter anymore! I'm free, so there's no longer need to worry!" 

"_You_ might be free, but I'm not," he snapped, pulling her hands away, and turning around. He stared into the dark, thinking of all the consequences this would have. The dark—it resembled nothing. "Don't you realise what you have done?" 

"No," she said, softly grabbing his shoulder and turning him back. "No, I don't, really. Tell me, tell me what's wrong with me sharing the fact that I love you with others? It's not illegal, is it? And if you're afraid you're students will laugh in your face – they're too scared to do that, I'm sure of that. By the way, you won't have to face them until the start of the next school year."

He stared into her chocolate brown eyes. And then it hit him. _She didn't care. _She simply didn't care. And honest, why would she? He didn't owe anyone an explanation, and he knew how to handle his students. He looked at the moon. _She_ resembled the moon, that beautiful and wise moon. Didn't those two, the darkness and the moon, fit each other perfectly? Perhaps she was right. 

He pulled her in his embrace, his chin on her head. "Promise me…" he murmured, stroking her back. _Promise you'll never leave me… _He thought about what a promise like that was worth, and then decided it was not necessary. _I love you,_ he wished to say, but even for that was no need. He closed his eyes, thankful for her.

*~*~*

"Like to dance?" 

I watched Severus turning around, his surprised expression turning into his old, menacing one as he saw me. "I do not…" he paused, as if reconsidering things. I decided to push it even more, and looked at him with begging eyes. 

"Please?"

I had respected his wishes, but would that be enough to fight his stubbornness? It turned out to be. 

"Just once," he muttered, and I let out a relieved sigh. 

"Thank you!" I said, pulling him to where we had some more space, and putting on some music I had brought with me. I slipped my arms around his neck, and he put his around my waist.

He squeezed his eyes. "What kind of music is this?" he asked. 

"'If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right', sung by a Muggle artist." I answered shyly. Of course I had chosen this song purposefully, even though it wasn't exactly relating to how I felt about Severus. And so I couldn't help but flush when in the song it became apparent it was about loving a married man. 

"I'm sorry…" I murmured, but he didn't respond. I looked into his eyes, his dark black eyes, and they spoke for him. _It's okay_, they said. _It's okay._

I leaned in closer, letting my cheek rest on his shoulder, and moving slowly at the rhythm of the music. I could never change him, but I would never want to change him either, even if that meant that others might understand why I loved this dark man. I knew his soul, I knew who he was, I knew that he loved me. And to me, that was enough. He would never hurt me again, physically or mentally. I knew his eyes…

"By the way," he said, "Poppy says I'm cured of my head aches."

I looked up. "You are? How?" 

He shrugged carelessly. "She doesn't know. But the symptoms have disappeared. Suddenly."

Putting my cheek back on his shoulder, I looked at the potion that he had been working on, and felt the coldness trying to take me over in vain. I stared at the dark, chilly Potions lab, thanking for all the goodness I had been given.

Dancing in this Potions lab – perhaps it wasn't as glamorous as dancing in the Great Hall, but it certainly felt twice as safe, with Severus holding me. 

Forever.

_THE END_

_A/N: Phew, that's the end, folks! I see it didn't turn out to be a real epilogue, but I couldn't help adding some more things… I hope they weren't TOO out of character. There are a few more things I want to say =) _

_As you might have understood from the author notes from the first chapter, this was supposed to be a one-shot cookie. So when I decided to continue, the only thing I knew was that I had to get the two characters back together again. How, I didn't know. The story just wrote itself, and the cruciatus curse and the girl that he killed, seemed nice add-ons. What I'm trying to say is; not one chapter of the story is beta read, and I rarely thought the things I wrote out. I don't think this fic will be for any use for you in the future or whatsoever, but I simply hope it amused you ^_^ _

_I want to thank you, thank you very, very much, for reading and reviewing. You've got no idea how much of a support it was to me, to see how gracefully you reviewed every chapter over and over again, especially the ones who stuck with the story (_Jessica_, of course, and _Escritora_, _Tegan_, but also _JoeBob1397_; Thank you so much!), but of course also everybody else. I suppose I could list your names here, but isn't that just spoiling of time? I appreciate each of your reviews just as much. So, at the risk of repeating myself, I thank you. _

_Before you guys all think I'm weird (which you probably already do… ^_~), I'll end this here. Have a nice day!_


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